Let me go as far to say: From my personal experience with it, it can do a lot to bring you up and make you feel high as a kite.... But if it gets messed up, you feel like crawling into a hole and hiding.
My personal opinion on it is that you should be absolutely careful when you get involved in it. You have to reach a certain mentality that: You'll be spending the rest of your life with this person, and this isn't some sort of game you play for a few thrills.
It's a very personal thing, and it's best shared between people who have a very special connection to each other. Which leads me to another hypothesis - Hooking up, just for the sake of being with someone, is a very fail-sure method of becoming in "love" with someone.
Here, you are placed before someone that others (not you, most of the time) have chosen, and you are under the impression that you are supposed to care deeply about them... You skip a vital step in the love process. Getting to know someone as a friend first is probably the best thing you can do, to ensure a tight knit relationship with someone.
You're building a life for yourself and for your partner. - Wouldn't it be nice to have a strong foundation, before moving in and starting that life? My thoughts exactly!
Now here's a couple of opinions on some of the common things which media portrays as "love.":
I say that personality matters a heck of a lot more than physical looks. We all suffer from slight imperfections, but it is ultimately the way we act which will be the deciding factor in the way one is perceived. So my advice is: Don't bash yourself for something you consider outstandingly awful, because chances are it's all in your head anyways... And it doesn't make you any less a person, unless you let it affect the way you act towards other people.
A woman, who values her virtues, will eventually come to find a guy who will treat her right... Guys who are in it for "one thing" will shy off from that, because they know they won't achieve what they're looking for... and frankly, that's how it should be! No matter what a girl looks like, inner beauty will always outshine outer beauty. In my eyes, that makes them precious as a whole.
Ah yes, and I also seem to notice there are a few women who will do their best to attract guys through their looks, or by wearing close to nothing... Might I be so bold as to quote the bible, when I say:
"....Her husband praises her: "There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!" Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised." - Proverbs 31:28-30
So what more needs to be said? Basically, it's telling you that you the qualities of a good girlfriend/wife include: Being conservative, kind-hearted, and dedicated. When a girl goes out there, trying to act against what the above verse says, they're putting themselves up for all the guys who are silly enough to buy into it... The ones who target easy women, and the ones who are attracted by physical looks over personality.
I'm just saying, personally I'd be more attracted to a girl who has sound judgement, over one who is itching to flirt around. As New Radicals say: "You're going to get what you give."
How true!
Disagree with me all you want, but in doing so, consider your right to say, "I can't find a good guy who will treat me right!" revoked.
Ahem, but moving on now.
I believe love consists of three things: Friendship, Trust, and Spirituality.
Friendship: I just don't see how it could be possible without it... You love them, but you love them for who they are, do you not? If you don't have a strong level of friendship, how do you expect a relationship to last? Love is something that is built from scratch. - It isn't forged and placed before you so that you can pick it up and stow it away in your pocket.
Trust: You ultimately are looking for someone you can trust above everyone else, otherwise the purpose of a relationship would do more harm than good. You need someone you can go to, one special person who stands out among the others, to talk to and relate to... Plus, it's the backbone which keeps all relationships alive.
Spirituality: Beliefs that two people have must be the same, because it's not something that's a "slight" difference or anything like that. The bible says:
"AND HE SAID, "This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united as one."... - Matthew 19:5
You become ONE! ONE belief, ONE everything... Be sure you both are fit to connect, before forcing this piece of the puzzle into the wrong spot.
And I guess I should also add this element of what I believe love consists of, but I was having trouble finding a way to word it properly. Physical love. Yes, I think that's a VITAL part of any relationship, but don't abuse it! And don't let that become the focus of why you love someone. Because believe me, you'll think you're madly in love with someone when you're having an "on" night, but when it's all clear you probably feel not unlike raw sewage that's just been drifting for awhile. It's miserable, and I suggest you not let it be the main reason you love someone, but don't subtract it from the equation entirely, because that's not cool.
If I feel I need to elaborate on this more, I will... and I will update the page as well, when it's necessary.
